Leading with Gratitude

Jun 3

Written By Socrates - Head of School Team

Think you might want to read this book?

We know there is a huge gap between how often school leaders feel they appreciate those they lead and how appreciated the average teacher feels. Leading with Gratitude might just be the antidote! After taking the reader through 8 Myths about gratitude (e.g., “seldom giving praise makes it more meaningful”), they are shown 8 practices to make it more meaningful (e.g., linking gratitude to an act reinforcing core values). It’s hard to imagine a better book for a school leader to read than this one. It might affirm you are showing gratitude enough and in the right ways or it could transform how you interact with others.

What Would Socrates Ask?

What if part of all administrative meetings was the expectation of sharing a moment where you expressed gratitude?
What if you wrote a thank you note at the end of each day?
Are you sure that everyone who reports to you feels appreciated? If so, how do you know?

Research

… 81 percent of working adults say they would work harder if their boss were more grateful for their work, and a whopping 96 percent of men and 94 percent of women acknowledge that a boss who expresses gratitude is more likely to be successful.
… the desire for expressions of gratitude at work is three times higher in people in their twenties than it is for those in their sixties.
Scientists have found that being grateful is a bulwark against depression, boosts satisfaction with life overall, and even leads to better sleep.
...research dating back more than seventy years has shown offering reinforcement for positive behaviors and work well done is essential in rearing healthy, well-adjusted kids.
...only 10 percent of leaders were spending their time consistently in a committed, purposeful, and reflective manner.
… workers become more engaged when they see ideas from employees being used.
... a whopping 95 percent of job candidates say they believe culture is more important than compensation, according to a Johns Hopkins University study.

Concepts

Gratitude Gap- a chasm between knowing that gratitude works and the failure of so many leaders to actually practice it.
Negativity Bias- we have a built-in tendency to give more attention to problems and perceived threats than positive things happening around us.

Quotes from the authors

“... Machiavelli’s famous axiom “It’s better to be feared than loved” is not only wrong but dangerous.”
“At work as in our personal relationships, a five-to-one ratio of positive interactions to constructive criticism is a good indicator of a high-performance culture.”
“Busyness is by far the most common excuse for not expressing gratitude.”
“Practicing gratitude offers the greatest effect for the time dedicated.”
“... gratitude is not a zero-sum game-- there is plenty to go around.”
“Developing a good drill of always assuming the positive is one of the most transformative things we can do to make our own lives more pleasant, in every little way, while also getting the enormous satisfaction of seeing those we lead grow and thrive.”
“Leaders who develop empathy for others are great enablers of authentic gratitude.”
“One of the most distinctive attributes we’ve seen in great executives… is that they notice and express appreciation for small scale efforts as much as they celebrate major achievements.”
“Like ripe bananas, gratitude does not keep. The closer to an achievement a leader expresses her appreciation, the better.”
“By frequently checking in with people and helping them see they’ve made appreciable progress each day, leaders can boost energy levels considerably.”
“Because so much communication is online nowadays, handwritten notes can be one of the most meaningful forms of gratitude.”
“Another great approach we’ve seen is to provide some fun little tchotchke, toy or doodad that can become a gratitude trophy.”

Quotes from others

“Gratitude creates feelings of belonging. You and I have left an organization, even a relationship, because we didn’t feel like we belonged. If our people know we are grateful, we are going to create an organization where they really want to come and give their best.” - Garry Ridge, WD-40 Chief Executive
“The best way to warm your heart is to warm the heart of somebody else.” - Eric Schurenberg, CEO of Mansueto Ventures, publisher of Fast Company and Inc. magazines.
“We need to jolt ourselves out of our self-centeredness. When I am more mindful, more aware, more thankful, our teams are happier and everybody’s more engaged, focused, and productive.” - Mark Tercek, president and CEO of The Nature Conservancy
“People with humility don’t think less of themselves; they think about themselves less.” - Chad Pennington, Former NFL quarterback turned entrepreneur
“There is no comfort in the change zone and no change in the comfort zone.” - Marshall Goldsmith
“Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. When you follow this advice your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different.” - Indra Nooyi, retired chairman and CEO of PepsiCo
“In our society, we’re teaching our children to avoid failure at all costs. But how do you know what true success is without failing?” - Chad Pennington, Former NFL quarterback turned business owner
“The only way you get to big wins and big goals is to accomplish your little goals and little wins - that’s why celebrating those is really important.” - Chad Pennington, Former NFL quarterback turned business owner
“It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.” - Brene Brown, professor and author